Movie Review: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One”


I’m not going to lie to you and tell you  I’ve never had any encounter with the “Twilight” series.  I read the books.  Heck, I read “New Moon” twice.  I’ve watched most of the movies, and I even have a “Team Jacob” shirt.

But watching this new installment killed all hope I had for the “Saga”.

Stephenie Meyer’s vastly successful books make for interesting romance novels, but are poor crossovers and even worse movies.  This is accentuated by the casting of the enormously overrated Kristen Stewart , whose many roles over her long childhood career reveal she has just as much a soul as a wilted flower.  Throughout each of the “Twilight Saga” films, her expressiveness as Bella Swan never improves much, even after four films in this role.  Robert Pattinson, conversely, is in possession of at least moderate theatrical talent but is ill-fitted in the poorly-written role of Edward Cullen, Bella’s immortal vampire boyfriend.  Meanwhile, Taylor Lautner has proved himself a semi-decent fit for the role of Jacob Black, Bella’s werewolf rebound–he can easily play the cocky, immature teenager, but falters when faced with intensive acting.

The beginning of “Breaking Dawn” marks the beginning of a new life for everyone–Bella weds Edward Cullen on the condition he transforms her into a vampire.  The two then depart on their honeymoon on a secluded island off the coast of Rio.  Two weeks and many nights of supernaturally rough love-making later, Bella finds herself pregnant with Edward’s baby, a phenomenon previously unknown in the vampire world.  This baby not only sucks the life from Bella from the inside out, but also violates a treaty that the werewolves and vampires had formed many years prior.  This causes a split in the werewolf pack as well as tensions between the Cullens and their allies.

Sounds epic enough, right?  Oh so wrong.  While this might have been a thrilling and suspenseful work of art with effort, none was put out.  The script was atrocious even for a book that was virtually slapped together.  The direction was cliched and uninteresting.  Even the actors seemed lax, expending absolutely no passion into their characters.  But an almost inexcusable error occurred during the honeymoon sequence, in which Edward was exposed to direct sunlight many times without sparkling.  That is his most well-known trait.  Regardless of your opinion of sparkling vampires, Edward is not Edward without glittering in the sun.

Probably the worst, most intelligence-insulting line in the movie was the moment when Jacob comes to visit Bella to discover she is pregnant and sickly.  Jacob approaches Edward, exclaiming “You did this!”  As if it was not already obvious that Edward had knocked her up.

The wedding scene was extremely frustrating.  Bella’s walk down the aisle was drawn out to examine minescule details of what would’ve been a very lovely and intricate dress–had we ever gotten the chance to get a good look at the whole picture.  The end result is an abundance of pointless shots and visual frustration for the viewer, who are not only deprived of a good look at her dress, but of the whole wedding location.

Overall, this film was slow-paced and unbearably boring.  The only seat-edge sitting I was doing was waiting impatiently for the movie to be over.  The only mildly interesting scenes were the brief gore at the beginning and end.  There was far too much spit swapping to be tasteful, and Stewart and Pattinson seem to have no on-screen chemistry, despite dating in real life.  I was horribly disappointed, even though I can’t call myself a “Twi-hard”.  I honestly can say I have never seen such a mainstream movie suck so hard, and yet still waste about ten dollars to see it.

Save your money for a movie worthwhile.  “Breaking Dawn” needs to stay on the pages in a discount paperback, and off the silver screen.

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  1. Ramiro Tarr says:

    Ramiro Tarr…

    A round of applause for your post.Thanks Again….

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