Spring Break is a college passage similar to beer pong and regrettable mistakes. It has been part of the college institution since college students decided to get drunk. Spring Break has always been about the “where.” But the “where” is rarely affordable for college students on a budget. But like my father once told me, “Fuck a budget. You have the rest of your life to save.” Real speech from a real man, so let’s do a countdown for the top five places to visit in the United States for Spring Break (Islands have been excluded due to the fact that I do not go to an Ivy league school and Mexico is out of contention because I would rather not be shot and dropped off into a ditch).
South Padre Island: Yea I know I said no islands, but it’s still in the United States so I don’t count it as a real island. Did I mention it is also in Texas? Yea I said it, fucking Texas. Why go to Texas for Spring Break? Because Texas women don’t play. Normally this place is a nice family resort, but college students could care less what families like. Naturally, college students are assholes. They look to ruin old people and little kids’ fun (Florida anyone?). So it is only natural for college students to invade this island during Spring Break.
Daytona: Did I not mention Florida earlier? Well here it is. Florida is known for old people and hot weather, but when Spring Break comes around, it transforms into a cesspool of half-naked college students and alcohol. I’m sure statistics will show that half of Florida’s GDP comes from Spring Break. It gets that serious out there. And the best part about Daytona? Cheap hotels and plenty of beaches.
Miami Beach: Better known as South Beach to Mr. King James, Miami Beach has long been one of the best places to visit for Spring Break. Clubs, women, and great beaches. Can you ask for much more? Miami Beach may be the cliché Spring Break vacation but it will not be cliché experience. So treat yourself to the home of the heat and enjoy your college life.
Lake Havasu, Arizona: Want to stay on the West Coast? Then you better head over to Arizona. Arizona is very similar to Florida, a place known for old people that all of a sudden turns into a heaven for college students. Here is what people forget about Arizona, beautiful women who have one life to live. I have heard nothing but the best stories about Arizona. Yes, it can get hotter than ass. But think about it, with the exception of the Middle East, hot areas always seem to attract the best kind of parties. So do yourself a favor and make a trip to Arizona this Spring Break.
Home: Hey, if you can’t go hard then there is nothing wrong with some homies and forties. Life in Sacramento.