How relationships CAN AFFECT you!


Relationships can be the biggest up or the biggest down in your life. Relationships can leave you emotionally and physically scared and running for cover. It can make you feel higher than all highs that you would never get from any drug or endorphin rush, or make you feel lower than life and make you put yourself last to please others. Relationships can make you develop lust and mistrust, and at the same time complete and in love.

Relationships can bring out the best in you, because when you enjoy someone you tend to go out of your way to please them, such as purchasing flowers, rings and candy. When you are in a good relationship you tend to treat yourself better, too, such as you might have been known for walking around a little “scruffy” side, but when you happy in a relationship you “wake up and smell the coffee.” You do your hair daily, make sure you’re keeping your hygiene up, you start dressing better, making sure you smell good throughout the day and even have a new swagger and swing to yourself you never knew you had. When you are in a good relationship you might feel like you became a better person and that this person makes you complete. The person might make you realize things about yourself, and make you less selfish. When you are in a good relationship work and school goes by easier, you have a smile that won’t leave your face. There is a new pep to your step, and one thing is for sure, when you are in a relationship with someone you like or in love with it is clear as day and noticeable.

The biggest downside to being in a relationship is one-sidedness or when it comes to an end. Meaning at some point in time you are noticing that maybe the way you feel about someone is not necessarily how they feel about you. You could be going around town for instance saying you are in love with a particular person, when that person laughs and tells other people that they just like you, or act different toward you when you are not around. When you see one- sidedness or even if it happens in the beginning when you are caught up in the moment, and the other person is using mind manipulation, beware that the relationship might come to a troubled end. It is at this point when you start not feeling so good about yourself, and maybe you start acting overly judgmental, such as over judging the way you look or feel, or judging your friends based on what others feel about them and who should be around you versus who you feel. This could also lead to putting others down and being argumentative towards close friends or family members who try to help your relationship. You also tend to do things you might not normally do to make things work. For example, spending your savings money on a new ring or on a new big screen television, when you know bills need to paid and that money could go to something more important, or the person doesn’t deserve it or wants the item because they believe you have the money to buy it whether you can afford it or not and you want to do everything to please this person because you want to save your relationship. You start to develop big increases or decreases in your daily life, which may lead to self medicating, destruction, or reducing your normal demeanor, like taking sleeping or anxiety pills, listening to relaxation tapes, or even remembering the numerous prescription pill commercial ads on the television and how all your problems conveniently match their description. In a summary, you begin to change the person you are to fit the needs and expectations of someone else.

Between the two ups and downs comes the in-betweens that are the major factors in many cases that makes relationships turn for the better or for the worst, and that is trust. Sometimes you trust someone and give them your all and you get a wonderful marriage and family out of it, and sometimes you trust and it gets broken through cheating, misleading, and misguiding. Sometimes you trust and you have a wonderful night that you both shared pleasantly and you wake up with the itches, and smells you can’t get rid of. Other times you trust and find out all about a person and grow from it and sometimes you trust and found out that the person wasn’t who you thought they were or what you wanted them to be.

All I have to conclude to relationships are that they all come with the 3 C’S.  Compromising, which means in some point of time maybe not in the beginning, maybe not ant the end but you are going to have to share and not get your way. Money, which makes more/less, and has the better job. School, who gets to go and who has to work. Time, you might want to watch football and the other person might want to go to church. Kids, you watch the kids this week and I will watch them next week. Eventually these little issues are going to happen and you are prone not to like them when they come up. The next is Cash- it seems like you save more when it is just you versus when you are with someone else. Movies, dinner, bowling or just doing something else that is not as boring as staring at each other all day thinking of something to say when you probably at that time said all there is to ultimately say to that person. Last but not least you have to Care. How much you care is up to you, everyone cares in a different discretional amount. Whether you care a lot or a little though, you are going to have to do the three C’s whether you like it or not, and whether you are out for a good relationship or bad one. But the best advice to give is to be true to yourself and change for yourself only and no one else.

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