Check out my top five warnings of a bad hook-up so you know what to watch for before you get your heart bruised.
1- Not responding to you timely- If a person is not making time for you than they are not the one for you. If a person is constantly making excuses or reasons not to be there for you now, then guess what- that person ain’t going to be LATER. Signs of non-interest are prevalent and if you are not smart enough to pick up on that in the beginning than god help your soul. The beginning of a relationship is a focal point. The things you do in the beginning will pave what you will be treated like for the duration. Think about it: if they are not interested in you now in the beginning, what exactly attracted you to them in the beginning?
2- Eye balling – If you are walking with your significant other and you are constantly noticing them noticing everyone else but you: big mistake! They aren’t really that into you. Now, if they are doing a casual glance or the acknowledgement look that is one thing. However, if they are looking the other the way when they are supposed to be looking at you, then that is warning number two. The person you are with should be projecting the attention and energy to you. Not giving you an uncomfortable or disrespected impression. They should have you feel like you are number one and that you are the best thing since internet. Now, if you are further into a relationship than the look can dwindle towards you but in the beginning stages you should be receiving all the looks. Some people are naturally personable and more outgoing than others and that is understandable. The fact is we know what is right from wrong and making excuses for disrespectful behavior will only lead you to heartache in the end.
3- Lack of commonality- So they say opposites attract; I say that is true. Unfortunately, if you have absolutely nothing in common than where do you base your relationship? Oh that’s right the physical, and then for how long? For instance you date an athletic vegan, who inspires to be a politician. You are a chronic pot smoker, decent-looking, and eats what is placed in front of you, and is a Facebook/twitter posting junkie that blogs about everything from what you eat to how you dress. You have no interest in politics, eating healthy or filter what you say or how you are seen. You partner is aspiring in politics, is a health freak, doesn’t engage in remedies and is campaigning against social networking. How long do you think that will last? Yea it’s a little extreme but you get it. Some main point or purpose or your life should marry some main interest of theirs.
4- Unfavorable amongst your peers- Now in this day and age we all know about haters and the warnings signs. But let’s back up and think for one minute that these are your actual friends and they just might have the best interest for you because you handpicked them yourself to be in your life. Why not take their advice when they say he/she will be the next fool we see on TV with their mug shot or drama in Wal-Mart. If your peers disapprove of your significant other, get to the bottom of why. If it is a valid reason address it now and decide if you want to deal with a person like that or not. A lot of time friendships are cut short due to incoming relationships when perhaps it should be the other way. There is always a bigger picture and sometimes the best advice you can receive is from someone from the outside looking in. Just make sure the opinion comes from someone you trust and respect like your parents or close friends and not manipulating frenemies (friend that’s an enemy). You might try the source and ask the person in question’s parents directly. You would be surprised how brutally honest parents are. Some see this as a great time to vent and release repressed emotions.
5- Lack of goals- Here’s a test for you: ask the person you are into where they see themselves in five years. If that is too deep for you or them shorten it to something more attainable like one year. If no intelligent answer comes out or you receive the response of “I live everyday one day at a time,” stop right there reanalyze and then politely move away. Are you kidding me! A person with no goals means a small mind and probably an even smaller future. Just think of the answer “I.” If there is no “we” this person is not thinking of you. Now don’t be so self-centered, if the person has some confirmed goals than that is a plus! You didn’t say where you expect to see “us” in a year/five so don’t be stuck on it. The main point is the person thinks about the future has a path to follow and wants something out of life. A person with no goals will quickly fold.