Relationships: A Reason, Season, or a Lifetime By Bettina Cross


ImageIn regards to relationships: relationships are there for a reason a season or a lifetime. You can go through the meet and greet process with someone and it is impersonal. You don’t really know this person, not sure if you are all the way interested in this person, and deciding if this person is going to be worth your immediate time. That is what I would consider a casual everyday relationship. You bump into someone you meet. You say very impersonal things to strike up conversation such as, “How’s the weather?” or “Do you attend school?” and things of that nature. You ask the questions impersonally and then later analyze and decide if it is worth it.

Over time you get to know this person and time unfolds and you notice that they are there for a season. As I like to call it “seasonal,” meaning they were around you when class was in session, or they were your best lunch buddy while you two were working for the same company. Something disrupted the friendship and no longer have they become a friend. You sometimes go through withdrawal. What was once an interpersonal relationship has you questioning: did the state ever change from impersonal? Meaning you meet someone as a stranger, have an impersonal relationship with them (also know as meet and greet stage), and then viola! They are gone! It stops and makes you wonder the purpose of investing all the time into them, introducing the relationship to new interpersonal stages. Meaning going from “how’s the weather” to “It’s a nice day, do you want to come over for drinks?”  I believe when people are seasonal it is the worst. You never know if it was you or them that made the relationship go sour. This is similar to the friends you have who never call you or who disappear for months at a time or act distant.

Second. we move to relationships as a reason. People bump into people everyday but mostly to network with others. The relationship is impersonal but at times falsely comes off as interpersonal to show a form of sincerity or value in the person’s company. For instance, you could be nice to your boss and go out of your way to do things for them in an interpersonal way. In your mind the only reason you are doing these things is to better yourself or reach another ladder or step in your career. This means that you are being more impersonal because your true character and emotions are not really present. For instance, you join a social group or organization such as a Sorority or a Fraternity. You don’t necessarily like everyone in that group and might not even like what they stand for, you are there for a reason though! You want to network with the people they do, you want to hang around and go the places they go. You meet them impersonally and gradually make it interpersonal to formulate a bond with them for reasons of your own!

Also there is the example from school: we meet people here and grow different relationships. Some are for a reason, some are for a season, and some are gifted to us for a lifetime. Lifetime’s meaning you almost have the best friend syndrome right off back. You encounter someone, have a quick 3 minute impersonal encounter “How old are you?”, “What are you into?” and “Do you drive?” The next thing, you are in the car heading to the bar and boom interpersonal relationship you create! Next thing you have family ties going  to outingd together and becoming a loyal friend of the family. This is when your interpersonal relationship peaks and you have a lifetime relationship. In regards to relationships, like I stated earlier: relationships are there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime

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