Where do you stand on PDA?


PDARegarding PDA (personal display of affection), I say it is hit and miss. Now let’s see the definition for PDA: A public display of affection is any gesture, which culture suggests is sexual or romantic in nature, taking place in arenas open to other members of the public. Some PDA gestures include hand-holding, touching, kissing, or hugging, and public venues can be schools, public streets, restaurants or bars, or community parks. Exactly what determines a public display of affection has to do with personal taste, cultural and religious beliefs, and any laws applying to a specific region. There is wide variance in what gestures are considered PDAs, and whether they are acceptable, tasteful or legal. Depending on the situation I think it can be acceptable but in our current geography I feel like it can be doing a little too much.

When walking down the street and seeing a handsome young couple kissing or making sweet gestures to each other it can seem cute and innocent. On the other hand, when you go to your grandmother’s house and see her and your grandfather going commando in the front yard role playing, then it is safe to say it’s unacceptable. Yes, the second example was a little much and too far-fetched but I’m sure you get what I mean. For example: I am with my boyfriend in the movies we are hugging and kissing. I glance over to the left and see my mother or yet my mother’s friends getting tongued down in front of me, gross! I guess depending on whom, when and how the PDA happens is how it will determine whether it is unacceptable or acceptable.

When it is within your same age group or younger it is welcomed and charming. When it is someone you despise, who is unattractive, or chaotic, it is frowned on. By this I mean if you are a couple and look good together and have synchronization people will think it’s cute to show a little affection.

Example:  When I fell in love for the first time I was always giddy and happy. I wanted to be around that person always and the thought of us touching blew me away. I would write notes and we would chat. The first time I kissed him everyone knew it was going to happen. It was highly anticipated and my friends all gathered and stared from afar at the event that was going to happen. After the magical kiss my friends all crowded around commenting on how awesome and cute we were. This would be a positive PDA.

By saying same age group or young people I might have jumped the gun a little because old (mature) people know how to get down; hey, they are our fearless leaders.

Example: I used to work at a high-ranking military retirement home. I was a waitress there and would often see couples come in and out. Some couples would be arguing, some carrying on merrily. Around the holidays is when things used to get endearing. The couples would show up all posh and pressed. They would have several drinks and get loose. The “crabby grampys” would turn in the scrooge for Santa Claus and the tips would ring in. The best part was always that last couple on the dance floor at the end of the night. They would dance cheek to cheek all night and then at the end would give that last adorable kiss. This would be a positive PDA and seen as highly acceptable.

Now we move on to when it is not acceptable. Personal displays of affection gets out of hand when people over indulge in them and during the wrong social settings. This I mean if we are all having dinner at the table and you bring your crush to dinner, don’t grope on each other at the dinner table. It makes other people jealous. No, just kidding, it is inappropriate, duh!

Example: My mother used to work as a school teacher and had similar schedules that mirrored ours so that we could spend more time together and be in sync. However, my brother, figuring since we were on the same schedule we would not be home, decided to take advantage of this moment to sneak his new girlfriend in the house. My mother, suspicious of his actions at the time, decided to go home early for lunch to check on things. When she comes home she notices my brother and girlfriend on the couch in compromising positions, and let’s say over-PDA’in. This would be considered bad PDA and something that should have been done behind closed doors.

To conclude PDA can go in many directions some are bad some our good. Depending on the location and taste of the practice I see it as being acceptable. Most of the time I think it should be avoided and is unnecessary. In some cases can be seen as foolish, immature, unprofessional, and a distraction. On other hand if done in a correct context PDA can be: cute, charming, delightful, welcoming and encouraged. Used moderately I think we all need a hug, kiss, and some form of affection. The perception others have on it is what makes it acceptable or unacceptable.

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