True Wubwubwubwub, or How To Pick Up EDM Chicks


Follow these tips, and possibly win the heart of the wubbly girl you like!

1. Instead of posting a cutesy radio love song on her wall, post the dubstep remix by one of her favorite producer.

2. Take her to said producer’s live shows.

3. If you are a DJ or are trained in the art of DJing, make her a mix of all your favorite mushy house songs (bonus points if you DON’T use “Clarity” by Zedd!)

4. If you are a producer, or trained in the art of producing, make her said mushy track or remix.

5. Take her to a rave, but don’t let her go half naked.

6. Buy her any merchandise (i.e. shirts, wristbands, shoes, hats) that refer to “dropping the bass”.

7. Bond over a DAW (digital audio writer) that you both use, or any other DJ or Producing program, instead of watching a movie.

8. Make love in a strobe light.

9. Blast the most prime Trap tracks you have, any time you pick her up, especially if there will be people within earshot.

10. Propose to her with a glowstick or light-up ring.

11. Use cheesy EDM reference pick-up lines like, “I may not have found Molly, but I’m glad I found you instead.”

12. Use Chillstep or Liquid Drum & Bass as mood music.

13. Get her a cake, because you know what Borgore says…

14. Kiss her. And then just touch her. Til she can get her. Satisfaction.

15. Throw her a surprise party, and jump out with either a Daft Punk or Deadmau5 helmet.

16. Or, throw her a Knife Party. If she gets it, marry her.

17. Teach her how to shuffle. Not like LMFAO, but like they do at Hardstyle raves.

18. When she does something you love, tell her it makes you love her HARDER. BETTER. FASTER. STRONGER.

19. Marry her at EDC.

20. Buy her a puppy and name it Rusko.


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