Sims Review: Rooooosebuuuud!

Halloween2The Sims. It was my first love.  I stayed up until 5 a.m. whispering sweet nothings to my live-in boyfriend. “ZA WOKA GENAVA, NOOBOO!”

I was ten and I was given a space to create a life of my own. I was able to project what my adult life would look like. Being the sponge that I was when I rolled into the “double-digits”, I look back on my Sim’s life now, and wonder, “Am I doing anything nearly as cool as my Sim’s did?!”

First off, I was a millionaire. Once I fell victim to the insurmountable temptation that was the “Rosebud” cheat code, I started to pick up all kinds of swanky habits. I was an avid art collector, and sometimes I would spend all day sifting through the most expensive pieces. Staying up all night throwing a hot tub party in my carpeted living room for my neighbors–enlisting them to help me find the perfect places to hang my treasures. “AHHHHHH MOLOMBIA!”

Secondly, I was the matriarch of my home. My pad was always clean and no one ever smelled the moldy carpet after a long night of drinking custom cocktails in the hot tub. I did, however, get all bent-out-of-shape when my man couldn’t open the bathroom door. The only liquid that gets on my carpet is from the damn jacuzzi! “NEESHGA, NEESHGA!”

Thirdly, my time was mine. I didn’t need a job because of “Rosebud”. I liked to believe that it was an inheritance given to me when I turned 18. Apparently, my from-humble-roots parents were not my own, and my long-lost-well-established-east-coast-socialite parents had given me up for adoption because they were too focused on their careers. When these selfish people croaked, I got hooked up and so did the people who raised me. I built them a nice grandmother house in the backyard of my party pad. We lived surprisingly harmoniously. Mom never cared when I had art parties into the early morning. “HARVA SOL LABAGA ALONG WITH HAVA SO LAWNMUG!”

In the real world, my life is a little less glamorous. JUST A LITTLE. I typically buy art from Goodwill stores. Sometimes I find the time or actually have the space to hang them up while enjoying a Koolaid Jammer. My boyfriend’s never pee on the carpet anymore. I got no inheritance, but financial aid is pretty dope. I have to work for a living.  My mom is actually my mom, and would come hang out for some drinks but she wouldn’t like all that noise throughout the night. “JOWLENINNNNN!!!!”

I’m not entirely sure what I was expressing through this game. I could have really been imagining my life as an adult, or I could have simply been imagining. Whatever it was, I had a damn good time getting obsessed with it.


DJ Mophead


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