A Hatred For Stormageddon


2014-12-03 14.45.37

I know we are in a drought and I have come to terms with the fact that we need the rain BUT I still hate it. The gray skies fill my heart with complacency as I mumble around and step through puddles. Here’s three reasons that I use to justify my anger towards the rain.

#1: I am a skateboarder. For those who do not know, skateboards are not compatible with the rain. It makes the ground slippery, water-logs the deck, and rusts bearings. I have seen people ride skateboards and long-boards through the rain on campus and I shake my head every time. They are not skaters, they are posers. I am not hating, I am just being real. skateboarding in the rain will not only severely damage your board, but it is also unsafe for the skater to attempt any tricks due to the slippery conditions. Rain prevents me from doing what I love, so it must die.

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#2: Rain is deceiving. People think the rain is a beautiful thing that they want to dance and sing in. This is a lie. The rain is cold and unforgiving. Dancing in the rain can cause illnesses and then you will not be singing and dancing at all. The rain causes everybody to want to drink cocoa and watch movies. This will lead to diabetes and chronic laziness, which benefits nobody. Don’t trust the rain.

#3: Rain is wet. Being wet sucks. It is cold, things stick easier to wet places, and everyone asks the inevitable stupid question “Is it raining bro?” Nah, I just run through sprinklers on my way to class. Also, wet shoes is the worst. They never dry when you need them and wet shoes makes your feet smell like onions in a toilet- a dirty toilet. My brother had some laikai skate shoes the rain caused the dye to leak through the shoe into his socks and all over his toes. The rain causes sadness.

Rain is good for nature, but not for me. I prefer a cool, crisp, fall evening so I can skate for hours and hours without getting wet, sick, or hurt.

Thanks for reading my rant on rain. For more random words on life and great metal music, listen to my show “Shred the Gnar” every Thursday at 9am on www.kssu.com.

Much Love, DJGingerbeard

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