The holidays typically mark a transition phase in my life–a break-up occurs and I gain 5-10 pounds. This year, I am heading off to Portlandia for the holidays to experience my first snowy Christmas! I am beyond stoked, I have listened to a lot of Mariah Carey’s Christmas music, but never in an authentic landscape. The holidays are always weird, though, and this year they are going to be especially weird. My parents separated 4ish years ago, and I usually trade holidays off (my mom lives in Portland and my dad lives in the 916) but this year I get to see both my parents…next to the same tree…at the same time. My dad decided to accompany me to Oregon so that he could see my little sister, who is also nestled up in the greenery.

Nothing says Christmas like hanging out with your ex. MAYBE THEY WILL GET BACK TOGETHER AND RAISE THEIR 23-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER WITH AN ADEQUATE FAMILY STRUCTURE. I haven’t decided when I am going to tell them that all I want for Christmas is a mommy and a daddy, but I will make sure that they are on the hot seat, I kid, I kid. I think the trip will be very entertaining and awesome, after all, my family could be super lame and keep lines drawn in the sand. You ain’t celebrating the holidays if they aren’t difficult, right?

Eat lots of Muddy Buddies. Make sure to put only red and green M&M’s in your Rice Krispie Treats. Watch that one cartoon with Tom Hanks on the Christmas train just because it has such creepily real looking animation. Binge listen to all the Serial Podcasts at serialpodcast.org. They are so amazing and the perfect to listen to for cold and stormy winter weather.

Peace and Blessings babies,

DJ Mophead

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