SlenderMan Attacks Luke’s Diner: POINTS!!!

lukeFall TV has started. As someone who watches WAY too much TV, I’m very excited. Here are some of the ones I’m awaiting.


American Horror Story has started. I haven’t liked the first two episodes, the faux reality show “My Roanoke Nightmare” isn’t a favorite of mine. But, I haven’t had the chance to watch the third episode yet. And, the good thing about an anthology series is that it could be completely different next season. And, a new show has decided to use the same format. Not just another anthology series, but another horror anthology series. But, this show takes all of its themes from CreepyPasta. Yes, the CreepyPasta of suicidemouse.avi and Slenderman. This show, that I’m very excited for, is called “Channel Zero,” and the first season is called “Candle Cove.” Candle Cove is supposed to be an old, probably disturbing, children’s show that very few people remember. And, it was supposedly associated with disappearances in the 80’s.


Scream Queens is back. The first episode was too much exposition for my taste, but their humor still doesn’t disappoint.


Oh, Walking Dead, always near to my heart. I’m starting to see a pattern, and suddenly I realize why my own art is so weird. I was not happy with last season’s cliffhanger. Because, it was bungled. I don’t have a problem with cliffhangers, they can be amazing devices. But, the entire last season was building to a death. But, with a whole season of everyone anticipating that, they didn’t show who it was that died. Look, a good cliffhanger comes out of NOWHERE!!! It smacks us in the face, then disappears, leaving us dying to know more until next season. Now, I more dreading this season than I am excited for it. If they were to show who died, and had a cliffhanger that worked like it was supposed to, I would’ve had the summer to be sad and wonder where the cliffhanger will end up. But, now I’m just full of dread more than anything, because I don’t know who I’m saying goodbye to. I’m kidding, I totally know. They aren’t that unpredictable. But let’s take, for instance, the show Lucifer. I’m so happy that’s back. That is a show that knows how to do a cliffhanger. And, it took a question and a 1-word answer to deliver that smack in the face.


I am starting to like Fear the Walking dead more, as it grows into its own. I, no joke, only began watching it so that I could get more Talking Dead. That’s still about 75% of the reason I watch it. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but I have an odd fascination with Chris Hardwick. And, to a lesser extent, I’m fascinated by the whole after-show talk show genre. It’s one of the things I’ve thought about spending my inevitable future wealth on, making Chris Hardwick watch everything I’m watching and give me analysis on it. So, as soon as I’m rich, you’re getting a call Chris!


Getting away from the horror genre, I’m so looking forward to Once Upon a Time. Because, I fiercely love Regina. And, the more story she gets, the happier I am.


You’d think, knowing my dominant taste pretty well by now, that this next one wouldn’t be my absolute favorite show. But, nothing has taken a hold of my soul like this gem. The biggest thing I’m looking forward to is Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life. This is one of the few shows I actually watched when they all first aired. To give you an idea, I’m so obsessed with this show that I’m still angry I didn’t get to go to the wedding of Luke and Lorelai. So, if there’s not a wedding in the new version, I will never stop fuming. I know that sounds bad. But, I could go on and on about how one of media’s functions is companionship. But, that’s another blog post. But, really, for 7 years you let your audience get to know these people so much, and DON’T invite us to the wedding?! Rude. Maybe Emily, your own character, can teach you something about proper etiquette? Hmm?




Like what you read? Listen to me, DJ Tray Squat rant and rave about politics, on PoliPsycho. Every Wed. at 6-7pm on KSSU.COM

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