If Cryptids Could Chill: Mothman


Hey friends! Long time, no see, I know. This semester has by far been the longest and craziest one yet, and I hope you are all hanging in there! As Study Week comes to a close and Finals Week approaches, I wanted to give you all a couple of reminders:

  • You are incredible! Amazing! Worthy of love and positivity and all good things. I know that it gets more and more stressful during crunch time, but no matter what happens, you did your very best this semester! And I am so, so proud of you for that.
  • Take care of yourself. Yes, you probably have seven final exams, 12 research papers, nine presentations, 20 hours of work, and a partridge in a pear tree to worry about next week. But don’t forget the essentials!
    • Remember to get a healthy amount of sleep. If you’re cramming all night for tests and not getting enough rest, that can prove to be detrimental to both you and your test scores.
    • Eat healthy, well-balanced meals and snacks while you study and before you take your tests; it’s hard to get an A when your stomach is empty! ASI’s last Pop Up Pantry of the semester takes place on Monday, December 10, 10:30am to 1:30pm in front of the WELL if you are in need of some fresh produce.
    • Stay hydrated! There are water bottle-filling stations all over campus, usually next to water fountains. It might be tempting to stock up on iced coffee so you can stay up late and study, and that’s okay! But make sure you have 1-2 times the amount of coffee or tea you’re drinking to balance it all out.

Have any other words of advice for your fellow students? Comment below! And in the meantime, I’ll introduce you to my friend…

Mothman

More commonly known as: Mothman… He’s not really one for nicknames
Potential Twitter handle: @LoveMeSomeLamp (assuming he has a Twitter account; he probably doesn’t tweet and only really uses it to find funny memes)
Instagram aesthetic: All photos in black and white. Mostly pretty landscapes and rivers, a couple of bird’s (moth’s?) eye-view photos of cities like Chicago and Point Pleasant. Not very many selfies—he’s too edgy for that.

Mothman is a lone wolf. You know the guy you went to school with for about a decade but didn’t hear his actual voice until graduation? That’s him. He was most likely seen smoking cigarettes under the bleachers. He is all about solitude—and do NOT confuse that for loneliness. Mothman loves his alone time, and he will make it clear when you are intruding upon that. It is almost impossible to carry a conversation with him, unless you’re open to being stared at blankly after asking him a question.

I guess the real way to get through to him is to ask the right question. It’s hard to say whether or not he’s a mean guy, because trying to get any type of response out of him is like pulling teeth. You have to wonder if he gets a kick out of making people uncomfortable. I think he does, and that he owns a blog somewhere on the internet where he keeps record of all the awkward encounters. This would make him an actual master of human interaction. He only has to talk to you if he wants to, which is a great sum of power.

Mothman was very big on the ’90s grunge scene, as well as early 2000s alternative rock. His favorite genre overall is rock, and although he might seem like sort of a music elitist, he can listen to any band or group. In fact, he used to play bass for a band. His bandmates never heard him talk, but they loved hearing him play.

Mothman exclusively wears dark band tees and leather jackets. He also wears a chain on his pants that are linked to his wallet. He’s got about ten pairs of black Converse and maybe one pair of checkered slip-on VANS. He won’t call you out for not being able to name fifty Nirvana albums if he catches you wearing a t-shirt—that would be a terrible waste of breath, especially for him.

What do you think Mothman is like? Who would you like to learn more about next semester?

Thanks for reading, and remember: you’re incredibly important, one-of-a-kind, and I love you!

Editor’s Note: This article is left over from last semester, hence the opening line. Nevertheless, this does not take away from its quality.

Musings on Money


Here’s a short write, meandering through the concept of money and success. By DJ Tray Squat.

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 “Here we stand, on the edge of unfamiliar territory. It has been charted before, many times, many ways. But, the tracks are all different sizes, tailored to each of the vehicles of their drivers. Most are long gone. None of the tracks are suited to me, they are too big, too small, too, long, too short, too deep, and too shallow. In the land of many paths, I fit none of them. I would scrape my flesh on the path with sticks, rocks, and dirt. I would get lost and suffocate in the track that is so deep, even the tallest had trouble navigating. I would still be here, needing a path, on the roads that end too soon. How to lengthen the short roads, or shorten the long ones? I don’t have the time to take the long route. Yet, I stand here, needing a way. Carving out my own path seems near impossible. Can I connect two roads? Fuse the tracks from your street with the sticks sticking out from another, and add in some of the depth of the path that travels underneath? What if it leads me nowhere? I can’t connect a path to a destination, without that destination’s approval. How, then, do I create a path just right for me, that will be just right for the destination I like? I want a helicopter to pick me up, pluck me from this precipice, and offer me any destination I wish. I could visit any number of paths and/or destinations and stay there as long as I like. I could provide assistance, from my perch, to some still forging a path. Those I know, those that have been in the same boat as me. I wouldn’t send a helicopter for each one, keeping in mind that there are a limited number of helicopters. But, I could provide insight, and opportunity to see their way through the options ahead of them. I could make the territory more familiar, and offer them a fast track to getting to their chosen destination. And I would take them all for rides in my helicopter, just for fun.”

 

Tracy is a dj with KSSU

The search for the number “three”


Ship number 3In 1538, Buska Numeros set sail from Spain on the Nunka in search for the number “three”. In his possession was an ancient chart that spoke of an island called “Akii Esta” where the number was said to be found. Others have tried, setting sail to various promising locations. All of them failed. Until Numeros’ expedition, only the numbers 1 and 2 were known, and it was with those two numbers that the kingdoms of Europe had been built. But with the number “three” everything would change. Money could be better managed, buildings could be faster erected, and better ships to sail the seas.

On April 5, 1538, Numeros made land at the rumored island. From the small beach, beyond the tree canopy, he spotted a temple on the peak of the mountain (later called the Mountain of Secrets). “There. It must be!” he said. The temple, situated in vast ruins, was seemingly abandoned. Inside the temple he and his men found a series of tunnels and traps that would claim the lives of 23 of them. After two days wandering around the labyrinth of traps and deteriorating murals Numeros discovered a stone tablet that held the prize he sought. Not wanting to waste any time, he and his crew set sail the ran back through the temple and set sail the next day. They had charted the island and the inner temple for a future journey.

The sails of the Nunka returning to port stirred no excitement, everyone expected him to die or return empty handed as so many had before him. But when he showed the portman his discovery the portman ran and screamed throughout the town. Within hours Numeros was brought before the King and presented his findings.

“3”

The number that followed 1 and 2. Not only that but Numeros spent his return trip studying the number and discovered a strange relationship between the numbers, that 1+2=3. The King announced a day of celebration and Numeros was knighted for his efforts.

Unfortunately his glory would not last long as he lost his life in an engagement with the English fleet two years later. It would be 237 years until the discovery that ε+3= 8, adding five more numbers to the count, and 259 years after that until the realization that 8 turned on it’s side makes , granting us the world and technology that we take for granted today. It is important to remember where it all began. With the voyage of Buska Numeros.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and any similarities to any person, place, thing, and or the creation of numbers is merely a coincidence and not to be taken seriously.

When Tex isn’t writing works of fiction about the number 3 he can be found doing a talk show on KSSU