As a senior, I should not even be in this class, but like a dingus, I took a class with mostly freshman. On top of that, a communications class. To give you a better idea of my place in this classroom, peep this: the teacher asked me on the first day, “Why are you here? You’re a senior.”
We were having a conversation about capitalism’s role in our lives, and got onto the subject of college students doing the balancing act that is work and homework. He had mentioned before that he helped his daughter through college and had also mentioned that he recently helped her buy a condo in L.A.–she is 35 now. This little tidbit left a bad taste in my mouth. This guy seems to favor entitlement, but he is an honest guy and I look forward to his class. Back to capitalism he caught me off-guard by making a divisive assertion where he insisted that students should not have to work during college. “It is just too hard. You do not get the full value of what you are paying for.” I. Went. In. On. Him.
“WHY SHOULDN’T STUDENTS HAVE TO WORK? ALL THE STUDENTS I KNOW THAT DON’T WORK BECOME INCREASINGLY CLUELESS.”–ME
“You’re justifying your lifestyle to yourself. We should tax the rich so that education is free for everyone.”–Professor
It made me so mad, I mean I am all about making education cheaper. I’m also all about addressing the income gap, but really, students shouldn’t work?
“Your parents are responsible for you. They should pay for everything while you are in school. It is their job to help you through.”
I don’t think so. I just don’t. Just because you have kids, do you really have to subsidize their education? That is what I would want to do, but once I learned my parents couldn’t help (at least consistently), I did not have the gusto to ask them why. I just knew that it was something that they could not do, and to beg is to let valuable time slip past you that you can use to take accountability for your life.
I left class not feeling satisfied with my position. I felt like I got so defensive that something else was driving my comeback.
I’m burnt out. The job, the friends, my radio show, my research class, my boyfriend, my family, assigned reading….EVERYTHING. It is not that I do not enjoy these things. The pressure to be well-rounded has driven me to take on new experiences, but what does it all mean if I am tired all the time?
I don’t remember the last time I read a book (assigned or for fun).
I am tired.
I have become capitalism’s little b*tch.
I want to be a kid again.
I WANT TO QUIT.
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