The Elderly Couple, or Why I No Longer Take Relationship Advice

old couple

I stumbled half-alive into the kitchen at one in the morning today, after a very stressful shift at my retail job (the ONE year I have a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day I have to work…don’t you wish you could be so lucky?) As I was setting my wallet and phone on the dining table, my eyes wandered over to the previous day’s newspaper. The front cover of the local news section was taken up entirely by a picture of a very old couple, with a headline that said, “VALENTINES FOR LIFE” in the most in-your-face way imaginable for a newspaper. Scrolling down the page, a very old black-and-white photograph of two toddlers sported the caption, “They share all their childhood memories–and he carries the picture to prove it.”

I know every year the media likes to remind us of what true love is, or whatever their twisted, warped idea of it may be. But 50 years from now, will my closest friends be married to the same people? Will I be married to the same man? How many of us will even actually get to the point where they like it enough to put a ring on it? Is that even a realistic hope anymore: a meaningful marriage that lasts for the rest of your life?

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Music Review: Knife Party’s “Rage Valley” EP

The best way to describe Knife Party’s music is as some kind of large-scale, big-budget projection and lights show–for the ears.  Never has this electro house and dubstep duo disappointed, and they continue their winning streak with their latest installment, “Rage Valley”.

These tracks paint a desert landscape with hooks and drops just as scorching as the Death Valley sun.  Incredibly fresh and cutting-edge, each beat displays their uncanny ability to build suspense and throw musical curveballs at their audience.  Just as thrilling as any Sci-Fi blockbuster, This latest EP refuses to let go. [Read more…]

Music Review: “MDNA” by Madonna

There is absolutely nothing new here.

The track titles, the beats, the lyrics, the production, everything has been done before.

So how come this is such a captivating album?

Well, first of all, it’s Madonna we’re talking about.  “MDNA” is simply another one of her evolutions that she has undergone to stay in the public eye, and yet, it’s actually somewhat good.  The thing about Madonna is that she is ALWAYS trying to stay “hip”, yet she never looks like a poser doing it.  Maybe this is the same sorcery that is keeping her looking great at the age of 53, by which point most women would’ve long traded their metallic leotards for high-waisted sweatpants and a sweater from their oldest child’s college.  Now, I don’t know how she does it–for all I know, she could be slaughtering unicorns and drinking their silver blood in the dead of night–but you gotta admire her persistence and ability to stay strong in the industry for so long. [Read more…]

Review: Jeffree Star’s “Virginity” EP

If you are able to withstand the shock value sent out by Jeffree Star’s bright pink hair alone, you’ve already been far too desensitized.

But that’s just it; we’ve been desensitized.

I am a big fan of Jeffree Star.  He’s crude, vulgar, freakish, and shamelessly gay–and he’s proud of it.  He’s got more blasphemous tattoos than a Marylin Manson concert, more fabulous than Miss America, and doesn’t give a %#&@!  His release “Beauty Killer” showed that even though his lyrics are far from artistic, good production can make someone with little true talent sound radio-worthy.  I don’t say that to bash him–his talents are not musical, but promotional.  Still, “Beauty Killer” was a masterpiece in it’s own right. [Read more…]

So You Wanna Be a Party Rocker…A Guide to Zebra-Print pants and Shufflin’

I’m surprised there isn’t one of these already, and yet, when I investigated last, no one had a step-by-step guide to how to Party Rock.  There’s gotta be a demand for it; LMFAO turned from a semi-obscure group to an International sentation and trend-setting phenom literally overnight with their release of “Party Rock Anthem”.

Party Rock could easily be the next big craze in subcultures, at least style-wise.  Since the release of the album “Sorry For Party Rocking” last year, stores everywhere are packed with brightly-colored animal print clothes, bags, shoes and accessories.  In the last 3 months, I’ve been able to get my hands on a gold leopard print skirt, turquoise leopard print leggings, and just about everything zebra.  But Party Rock goes beyond just animal print pants being out of control.  If you really wanna party rock, follow these simple steps [Read more…]

Racism is a Two-Way Street

It’s February!  Which means that we are to celebrate and appreciate the accomplishments and potential of the African-American community.  Other than the fact that this month has Valentine’s Day, it’s really not too bad.  I may not do anything all that special to acknowledge the month, but as someone of African descent I am glad to see that this country has progressed into an era where black Americans can do anything they set their mind to, as equally as caucasians or any other race.

But there are still a few people who haven’t been updated on the “good news”.

They’re not always ones who were around during the Civil Rights Movement or have lived in the south.  Sometimes they are as close as living in the same building, 30 feet away. [Read more…]

Mix Tape Review: “Those Who Wait” by Daley

Every true Gorillaz fan will know Daley as the up-and-coming British soul singer who made an appearance on the post-Plastic Beach single “Doncamatic” last year.  But with his new mix tape “Those Who Wait”, available at this link here, Daley shows he can stand on his own as an artist of true vocal integrity. [Read more…]

Album Review: Evanescence – “Evanescence”

That is, indeed, the title of new album by the female-fronted hard rock band, Evanescence, which was release this October.  Surviving constant staff changes, creative frustration and a release date pushed back a year, This album seems to have emerged unscathed and virtually flawless.

This latest installment in the band’s discography has a slightly different, less subculturally-driven sound (a.k.a. they no longer sound like a “Goth” band).  Instead, this new lineup has brought with them a flavor that will appeal to vastly larger amounts of people.  It plays more like a slightly more feminine version of a Seether album, perhaps due in part by Frontwoman Amy Lee’s collaboration and connections with the band.  There is a lot less suicide and a lot more angst.  Although the metal element has been extracted from their repertoire, the heavy elements of Chamber and classical piano have stayed in the songs “Lost In Paradise”, “Swimming Home”, and the bonus track on the Deluxe Edition, “Secret Door”. [Read more…]

“Salad Fingers” Review

Salad Fingers and his "brother" Kenneth

This weekend was a bizarre one.  It wasn’t that much happened out of the ordinary–I hung out in the dorms, attended a party or two, drank too much soda, texted excessively–but there is always that feeling in the air that something is off on the days leading up to Halloween.  I don’t know if anybody else feels it, but it’s almost as if I sense a disturbance in the universe. [Read more…]

Coping, revenge, and a good time all in one sitting

Let me get straight to the point:  My boyfriend broke up with me.  Never mind the fact that he sent me almost constant mushy texts, or that he had a car, or that he spent every moment he could with me, or that we were infatuated when we met.  It was the simple fact that HE broke up with ME.  It was awful because I had thought many times to end it myself.  He just beat me to it.  That was the worst part. [Read more…]